Making Friends with Pain

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Pain is an uncomfortable unpleasant sensation that can range from mild discomfort to agony. There can be physical pain, which in comparison is more manageable, and emotional pain.

Emotional pain can be caused due to sadness, hopelessness, anger, or anxiety; something all of us are currently in. Did you know that prolonged emotional pain can manifest into physical pain? 

Too much stress can cause you pain in your neck and shoulders. 

Too much worrying can cause you pain in your head or stomach. Some get migraines due to anxiety.

However, even when we’re suffering from emotional pain we tend to use a physical approach in dealing with it because we believe it to be a physical reason. However, pain caused by depression, or anxiety has to be dealt with on an emotional level. 

Make friends with pain and you’ll never be alone

Christopher McDougal

He meant that when we resist pain too much, it tends to hurt us more. What we fight with, will persists some more.


When we befriend pain, we are accepting the feeling, then it won’t hurt us that much. 

Acceptance, therefore, is a powerful way you can make friends with pain. 

You can use powerful statements to accept the feeling. For example

  • I feel a knot in my stomach and I accept this feeling.
  • I have a lump in my throat and I accept this feeling.
  • It’s okay I’m friends with this feeling. 

It’s quite actually magical. The moment you accept the feeling, you’re telling your brain that it’s okay. Your pain won’t disappear but believe me, you’ll definitely start feeling better. 


There is obviously a source from where this pain came from. We tend to use blame as a way of coping with it. Of them all, the worst is blaming ourselves for it. We go through thoughts such as ‘why me?’ Or even something worse such as ‘I deserve this!’ 

Such detrimental thoughts increase pain multifold. Learning to forgive yourself or anyone who you believe has caused you the pain will not just help you cope with it, but also make you emotionally stronger.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong

Mahatma Gandhi.

You can use powerful affirmations here. Create statements that can help your heart glow up with loving-kindness. You can use statements such as –

  • I forgive <name of the person> for the pain caused to me. I have no hard feelings for them. I am releasing all my pain. I only feel love and kindness for them.
  • I forgive myself for causing pain to me. I am imperfect just like everyone else. I no longer have hard feelings. I am releasing all my pain. I only feel love and kindness for me.

The above sentences are indicative. Use whatever works best for you.


Every experience in our life leaves a lesson for us. Same with pain. Although pain is a bodily response to the action, when we reflect upon it, you will find powerful lessons.

There are two ways of learning from pain. 

One – is understanding what pain is teaching you. Every pain teaches us a powerful lesson. It also helps you understand more about yourself. By learning what the pain is teaching you, you will be able to heal faster. 

You can learn from pain by noting what it is teaching you. Perhaps an entry in your journal or a letter to yourself. 

Two – is learning to let go of negative thoughts and feelings that are making it difficult to cope. A good way of doing this is by bringing your attention to the present moment. By actively disengaging from every negative thought you may have. 

Mindfulness meditation can teach you to come to the present moment.

Remember somewhere between agony and optimism, is hope. When you tap into this hope, you will discover a new world where the pain is your cure and your best friend.

Good luck!

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